‘Fear does not prevent death, it prevents life.’ - Anonymous
My husband said something that rang loud and clear to me the other day. He told me bluntly that, “We do not have the luxury to be afraid right now.” It was one of those moments where it put a halt in whatever it was I was doing and everything just froze in that instant. Those words, “We do not have the luxury to be afraid.” It was like my breathing stopped along with time & when I inhaled my next breath back into reality, I felt truth slammed into my face.
Yes, I had been afraid. Yes, I had been putting off certain activities because of fear. Yes, it was because I didn’t want to face the fear so I kept buying time, I kept putting it off, I kept doing what some of you may be familiar with. I kept procrastinating.
I believe one of the biggest reasons behind procrastination is fear.
As long as we do not do that specific activity, we do not have to face our fear. We do not have to feel that feeling. We can avoid it and long & behold, we feel better! Right? Um, no, not really.
It’s no secret that my fear was public speaking. Considering myself an entrepreneur now with my hypnotherapy practice, I knew speaking in public would have its day. Deep down, I always knew going out to speak would be a necessity in what I do.
As a matter of fact, the number one reason people seek hypnotherapy is for the fear of public speaking.
An instructor of mine always said, ‘At a funeral, there are many people who would rather be the one in the box rather than the one giving the eulogy.’ Yes, it’s true. Many people would rather die over giving a speech.
It was time though. As time was running short & funds were getting low, we truly were not in a space where I could stall any longer. All the excuses were not going to change my situation. I no longer had that luxury. Like soldiers in battlefields, they too, do not have the luxury to be afraid. Even if they were, they could not for long because ultimately, the battle had to be fought & it had to be fought now.
Fear has become a luxury today that too many of us swim in.
We indulge in it (our society is excellent at this), we hide behind it, and make it a part of our identity. The truth is, just like all other things we hang on to for dear life, it is not going to save us. It is does not make us feel better in the end. So why-oh-why then?
It’s safe. It’s comfortable. We feel at ease because we know the results. But do we, really? It is part of human nature to stick to the known. In my work, it’s what I do everyday in helping people achieve change. It’s always the same. Change needs to take place. Where there is change, there is always fear. So the action plan & acknowledgment of change is the easy part. The challenge is always, what to do with the fear? You know, that feeling.
Jim Carrey recently gave a commencement speech for the Class of 2014 at the Maharishi University of Management in Iowa that ended up being very inspiring & became a viral hit. It is available on YouTube & I highly recommend you see it if you have not yet by clicking here. There are many great quotes in it but one of them is him speaking on how to attain success in life & how we can get out of our own way by getting fear out of the way. He sums it up nicely by saying “let the universe know what you want, and work toward it, while letting go of how it comes to pass.”
These words are beautiful & simple because truth is always simple. It sums up the exact method I use to help clients move forward in taking action to help overcome fear. And yes, they are simple.
How to be fearless:
1. Set intention
2. Take action
3. Detach from outcome
Where we tend to err & become ‘stuck’ is in the lovely Step 3, detaching from outcome. You see, fear tends to come up because we play out in our heads all the possible scenarios that may arise from our taking action. And even if the outcome is a positive one, we still cannot detach because then we become fearful of not having that outcome, so we are now attached to how the outcome has to manifest. We then send this vibration of fear out to the Universe and because we live in a vibrational Universe where like attracts like, what we fear becomes our reality so boom, the very thing we feared is exactly what shows up, the fear of not having the outcome the way we wanted it to. And now we’re left disappointed and doubtful of ourselves and worse, we fear taking any further action in the future!
So the solution my friends? Become clear and practice on detaching from outcome. What does that mean?
One word. Trust.
1. Trust in your actions. Get out of your head all the doubt about what actions brings what results. Trust that everything you need to know is always available to you. Trust that you are giving it your best & your best is always enough.
2. Trust in the Universe. Once you’ve taken action, trust that the Universe will bring to you what you intended. It may not come the way you planned it to be, just allow.
3. Trust in yourself. You know exactly everything you need to know for that given moment. You are exactly who you need to be in any given moment. No more, no less. Trust that.
As I applied this to myself, I realized to release my fear meant to detach from the outcome of other’s reactions. I had to tell myself that I will never be able to control the audience. Once I detached from that expectation, I was able to have more energy & focus on myself to share my voice, who I was, and all I wanted to say. Detaching from this outcome then freed me up to take the action needed, which was go out & speak (which I do now every opportunity I get)! There are many luxuries in life guys. Let’s not make fear one of them.